Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Teh Frumps

I was reviewing the search terms that lead people to this here blog, and one phrase was: "pump up teh frump."

So, I made the next logical conclusion: lolcats totally read my blog!


Above, we have my sister Laurie Morris and her dearly beloved, sadly departed, obese wondercat.

Below is Quincy's cat One.


Thanks for stopping by, fashion lolcats!

What's next? Maybe "Shit Fashion Cats Say"?

Monday, October 28, 2013

Beta Maxi

Sunday, I went to Playhouse in the Park to see Cabaret with my family.

And this is what I wore.

OOFTD - 27-10-2013 01
office maxi

OOFTD - 27-10-2013 02

OOFTD - 27-10-2013 03
hand solo

OOFTD - 27-10-2013 05
braiding bad

I bought this vintage gown in Columbus last winter and haven't worn it because it is constituted of a wool blend that makes it: a.) exceptionally warm and b.) slightly itchy.

I am a big, giant baby and cannot handle any marginally scratchy fabrics.

I did get a ton of compliments on this ensemble, however, so I may have to break it out more oft.

vintage '70s wool bell-sleeved green maxi dress - Flower Child Columbus
navy blue midi slip - It came with a dress I got at JC Penney.
light blue glass ball earrings - Hark + Hark via Parlour Salon
blue paisley scarf - I sadly have no idea from whence this thing came.
brown leather flats - Frye via Nordstrom Rack

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Low Sodium

Sunday, my totes adorbs leetle seester Laurie and I went to the Salt Festival at Big Bone Lick State Park.

Salt Festival 2013_01
Lewis and Clark ain't got nothing on us.

We took no pictures of the festival itself, instead, choosing to scope out the fest wares and then frolic about the park.

I realize now that this entire post is kind of misleading. So you thought you were going to see pictures of people in historical costume, culling salt from the earth in a manner befitting a frontiersman?

Too bad. Here are picture of one of my favorite people and me playing in a field.

Salt Festival 2013_02
bone up on your history

Salt Festival 2013_06
lunatic fringe

Salt Festival 2013_13
sororal snuggles

round, brown and gold wire-frame sunglasses - Payless
tan wool poncho - Coldwater Creek
light blue cotton '60s dress - yard sale
brown suede '70s heeled boots - Casablanca Vintage

Monday, October 21, 2013

Pump Up the Grump

Just a quick post to say that my friend Abby Lay is the greatest.

Abby Lay - Grumpy Cat

Isn't this the greatest Halloween costume you've ever seen? Abby Lay is, in spirit, the total opposite of Grumpy Cat, but that is why this getup is so brilliant.

I mean, even Grumpy Cat would have to agree.

grump cat

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Fleetwood Match

Saturday, I impersonated Stevie Nicks at a friend's Halloween bonfire.

Stevie-Nicks Stevie Nicks Halloween Costume_01
Who wore it best? Har har.

I basically just wanted to wear the same old stuff I always wear and have an excuse to buy a top hat.

Halloween costume mission: accomplished.

Stevie Nicks Halloween Costume_05
Go your own way

Stevie Nicks Halloween Costume_04
Gold dust woman

Stevie Nicks Halloween Costume_03
The other side of the mirror

Stevie Nicks Halloween Costume_06
The wild heart

Burgundy leotard - Bloch via Discount Dance Supply
plaid layered skirt - Free People
black cowboy boots - Santa Fe Boot Co. via Pop's Resale
copper and silver jewelry - vintage. thrift
burgundy and black poncho - Rabbit Hash General Store

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Camp and Gown

Saturday night, Quincy and Natalie and I attended the Murphy family pig roast.

swing and a prayer

There was a rope swing AND a trampoline. What more could you ask?

pump up the jump

wind beneath my swing

lady and the trampoline

Natalie, on the left above, was a big big trampoline fan. I've never heard her giggle so!


And yes, I do usually go to camp out parties in a gown. It makes it easier to pee in the woods.

vintage '70s brown polyester maxi dress - thrift via Goodwill
light blue wool Hush Puppies cardigan - thrift
brown leather flats - Frye via Nordstrom Rack

Friday, October 11, 2013

Lick a Boss

This is my cat Only and he licks it like that:

I'm now thinking I should have made the soundtrack to this video "I Like It Like That." Hm.

Happy Friday!

Thursday, October 10, 2013

500 Posts. Good Gosh.

First, exciting news!

The beautiful people at Sven are offering you beautiful people 20 percent off of your online order with code: COOL CLOGS.


The code is valid until Oct. 31, so log on to get your clog on!

And now, more exciting news...

This is my 500th post!

My fifth blogiversary was last month, and I totally neglected it. I didn't even buy the Frump flowers or tell it that I still love it. Moral of the story: Never date me.

Instead of squishing in a half-assed anniversary celebration, I will use my posting quincentenary as an excuse to look back upon lo these many hundreds of posts.

Lemme take a minute to sift through the archives...

sifting though the backlog, 2009

If you've never perused my extensive backlog (incidentally, the phrase I use as a pick-up line), then you're in for an awkward treat (also something I might say during a romantic encounter).

Five years is a long effing time. While my style has evolved, I seem to have kept true to my foundation of the ridiculous, costume-y and bizarre.

You can get older without growing up, y'all.

But there are some items that I once wore that are just... Ugh. Yuck. Here's the highlights of heinousness from my first year:

Bad Blogging Ideas
The ugly

1. That cropped vest. I can't even.
Originally blogged here

2. Okay, this getup is not bad for showing off gams but it is pretty revealing and/or blue to wear for a day at your desk.
Originally blogged here

3.  I think someone gave the crocheted tunic and I was trying to figure out an innovative way to wear it. Innovative does not equal hideous, Haltermon. Also, why did I ever even have shorts of that length? They have to be the least flattering article of clothing in history.
Originally blogged here

4. I actually still have all of these pieces, except for the sweater, and they are each okay on their own. But with their powers combined, it's just a flouncy travesty.
Originally blogged here

5. I wore the crap out of this black mini dress. Looking back, I'm not sure why I loved it so much. It fit well, sure, but was made of terrible fabric in a not-very-flattering cut.
Originally blogged here

6. Those shoes! They're terrible! Someone go back in time and stop me!
Originally blogged here

As you can see, I was still playing with layers and trying to figure out what pieces could be made appropriate with the right styling. Epic fail, but A+ for effort.

Despite the too many layers train wreck, I actually wore some pretty decent duds my inaugural blog year. While I might not wear them now, I am not disturbed by the fact that I was at one time seen in public rocking these ensembles.

Good Blogging Ideas
The good

1. I still have this jumper-thing! I still love it though, as a trigenarian, I am less apt to wear without something underneath for fear of uncovering my undercarriage with its scandalous length.
Originally blogged here

2.  Chokers! Seriously, why don't I wear more chokers?! I have a black leather number that I haven't even worn yet, just languishing in my jewelry box. I need to get on that.
Originally blogged here

3. I love this dress. So wearable and '90s. Look, I wore it just a few months ago.
Originally blogged here

4.WHERE HAS THIS TOP GONE? Did I get rid of it? 'Cause if I did, I'm an idiot! Damn me!
Originally blogged here

5. I don't think I own any of this anymore, but I adore how sweetly it all came together. Notice the choker? I did, too!
Originally blogged here

6. I actually wore this to a job interview. Maybe I startled them with the extent of my stems, but I didn't get the gig. Oh well. I looked herra pook.
Originally blogged here

What do you think? Are you wearing the same ol' stuff you donned five years ago? Or are you a brand new person?

Monday, October 7, 2013

Aesthetic Absconder: Coal Miner's Daughter

Everyone! Let's dress like the characters in Coal Miner's Daughter.

Coal Miner's Daughter - Title

The film was made in 1980 and charts the life of Loretta Lynn from her birth in rural Kentucky in 1932 up to the decade of disco.

And while this picture, below, represents what immediately comes to mind when I think of this flick...

Coal Miner's Daughter - Neck Scarf Onstage

...My favorite fashions are featured in the first half of the film.

It's a 1980s interpretation of 1940s farm clothes.


Coal Miner's Daughter - Green Sweater on Homesteade

Coal Miner's Daughter - Dance Auction

Coal Miner's Daughter - Plaid Coat

Coal Miner's Daughter - Wedding

Coal Miner's Daughter - Red Coat on Donkey

This last look is my particular favorite. With the different layers of stylistic history happening here, it's strange that this reads '90s to me. I mean, come on: a knit hat, thermal pants and boots? Totes Seattle, albeit via Butcher Holler.

And because I need something to do while I scarf this apple, I did a little shopping for you so that you can recreate it.

First, you need a beanie.

Urban Outfitters Beanie
BDG Cuffed Rib-Knit Beanie via Urban Outfitters, $19.00

This is a good topper if you want to recall the 1940s, keep your dome warm and/or look like a hipster.

Basically, it's all life goals in one hat.

Marni Print Dress
Marni Floral Print Elbow Sleeve Dress via Barney's Warehouse, $479

Alright. I scoured the internets trying to find a tan-ish yellow calico print dress that wasn't vintage and wasn't made of crappy fabric.

This beautiful number probably deviates more from little Loretta than I would have liked, but look at it. LOOK AT IT.

It's beautiful.

And now, for the coat.

J Cew Coat
Stadium-Cloth Cocoon Coat via J. Crew, $350

Ha-hah! Is this perfect or what? Also, it's a trendy color for fall and warm and beautifully-made and blah blah blah.

Who cares? It's perfect for impersonating a preteen Loretta Lynn!

And now, the thermals.

American Apparel Thermal Leggings
Baby Thermal Legging via American Apparel, $26

In the grand tradition of American Apparel ads, this photo creeps me the heck out. Ew. No one wants sexy thermal pants.

I suppose you could always just pick these up at the Wal-Mart.

And now, for the pièce de résistance.

Anthropologie Boots
Golden Winterthur Boots via Anthropologie, $150.00

Of course, you could buy any number of items from Anthro and dress up like an expensive cousin to Half Pint, but I like these boots because they're both beautiful and badass.

So, what do you think? Are you googling "tan-ish yellow calico print dress" right now to prove me wrong?

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Up in Farms

Saturday, Quincy and I went to Farm Haven in Union, Kentucky.

A farewell to farms

I was pretty excited, even though we ran into this ass...

bray of sunshine

Just kidding! What a handsome fella!

Then we played in the corn maze for far too long.

turning the corn-er


Did you know 'cornu' is a word? I didn't! It refers to a horn.

For a moment, we were afraid we'd be lost forever. But we made our way out just in time for lunch!


'Twas a perfect day of autumnal fun.

Sven Clogs Giveaway.

A utilitarian name for a quick post...

Go to my esteemed blogger colleague Frédérik's post at The Front Page Online and enter to win free Sven Clogs!

Sven Clogs
You can even wear them with socks!

I know you want to feel free clog euphoria, too.

Do it!

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Clog Jam

Guess what, world.


I got some free shoes!

Frédérik, the lovely gent that invited me to guest post over at the Fashionoclast, and I were approached for a partnership by Sven Clogs. Frédérik is posting his review and super-awesome clog giveaway contest on The Front Page Online tomorrow.

But for now, behold! The two-tone bronze and black nubuck 3 inch wooden Swedish clogs. And, in case you missed it, they were FREE.

Now, I will review them. But be warned: I'm pretty high on freebie euphoria.

room with a shoe

These puppies retail for $225 and between you and me, I have never paid anything like that for a pair of shoes. $150 for Frye boots, yes. $200+ for heels... Never.

But I have to admit that after fondling them for a few days, (what, you don't fondle your footwear?) it's impossible to deny the excellent craftsmanship of these clogs.

When you pay that price, you expect an investment piece and these clogs are absolutely built to last for years. Tuff cowhide, beautiful sole and serious stapling ensure that these will endure ad infinitum.


I must also note that they are exceptionally light. I know they look heavy and clunky but that's because I have hooves the size of the Hoover Dam. I swear to you, donning these clogs is akin to wearing clouds. Sturdy, wooden clouds.

They're so light, they may even make you want to dance around like this:


Just kidding, Kentucky clogging has nothing to do with Swedish clogs, except that both fill your heart with joy.

Clog Monet

Just like any wooden shoe of the historic clog variety, breaking these in has been an issue. I've only worn them for short amounts of time but once I crush their will with my unyielding wearing, they'll be perfect.

clog lovin'

My only real conundrum in relation to these clogs that I'm having trouble styling them. As referenced above, my tootsies are monstrous and I'm afraid clogs only emphasize their size.

I like them with a sleek black palette pictured but I'm afraid my favorite a-line dress silhouette would look too little girl/doll-like when finished with the Svens.

What do you think? How do you wear yer clogs?