Friday, January 25, 2013

Along for the Bride

Weddings are dumb. Let's be honest. They are super dumb. They're expensive and boring and stressful and, though I've never personally gotten married, I imagine they're pretty hard on whomever is crafting their "special day."

However, my most fantastic, awesome leetle seester Laurie got hitched to the unspeakably awesome Alex back in April. And it ruled!

I was Laurie's maid of honor. Did you know that, as the maid of honor, you have to throw a bachelorette party (which I was totally ready to do) AND a bridal shower (not so much)? Because I didn't know that. Laurie eventually gave me the disgruntled look she's been perfecting since preschool and said, "Google 'maid of honor responsibilities' and get it together!"

So I did and my loved ones spent months planning and purchasing and puzzling preposterous problems (does anyone really care about coordinating guest gifts?) but everything paid off when we partied like Laurie and Alex were starting a new life together. 'Cause, you know, they were.

Here are some photos of Laurie and Alex and the Best Wedding Ever, all of which were taken by Cailyn Huston and Brian Ewalt. They were amazingly fantastic.


Here's Laurie's butt... Heehee! This might have been Laurie's day but this is my blog!

We found Laurie's gown at some godforsaken bridal mall in the bowels of Hades. That might be an exaggeration. But seriously, have you ever been into one of these stores? Everything is cheesy and covered in tulle and bathed in plumeria room spray and exactly 938 times more expensive than it should be. I saw basic white shoes for $150 that I swear could be found at any thrift store in South.

Laurie tried on approximately 40 billion dresses. Mom was often indifferent, Laurie's mother-in-law was usually amazed at her beauty in whatever she wore, and I was the Simon Cowell of the fitting rooms, pronouncing everything hideous. I've never used the word 'heinous' more times in my life.

At first, this feather trim dress didn't win any hearts but when Lou put it on, it was just too damn glamorous to denounce. I found it neither hideous nor heinous. Mom cried. That gown was made for her

There was only one other bridesmaid, and she and I both found our gowns at Captain Betty's. I love love that Laurie was cool with us wearing vintage and not matching exactly.


These lovely shoes from Seychelles were Laurie's "something blue." We found them at Black Market Boutique in Lexington and Laurie was jazzed because they're the kind of kicks she can wear forever.


Me, Laurie, and Susan, the other bridesmaid. She damn near stole the show at the reception with her irrefutable adorability and fantastic dance moves. She and I both had our dresses altered a little for the big day, and we decided that make sure that they had the same length so that we'd look a little more cohesive. With our fancy hydrangea bouquets and obvious adoration for Laurie, it all came together beautifully.


And here's the groom! Alex's brother Kevin was his... Oh, crap. I've forgotten what they're called. Dude of honor? No. Best man! Kevin was the best man! Jeez. No more Dr. Pepper for me.

Alex's cousin Andrea was his second groomsperson. She was effing beautiful. Both Kevin and Andrea coordinated their adornments with Susan and me so that we all looked like one big, intimidating, fancy gang.


Laurie is all about the hydrangea and Mason jar combo and early on, got a little flak for wanting something a little more country-cool. I mean, we are in Kentucky, after all. Chill out, people.

Momma decided that a little light on the table was necessary and crafted these tiny lanterns with her bare hands. Hurray for a group effort!


They like each other.


...And I like wedding favors filled with Sixlets. Yum.


Me, the incredibly handsome Kevin, and my ridiculous shoes from Not Too Coy.

Susan, who lives in Rochester, NY, and I emailed back and forth furiously for weeks about what shoes we should wear. We wanted to don the same footwear but we weren't sure what it should be. After (probably too much) debate, we agreed that even though both Susan and I tower over Laurie, we needed to wear super-platform heels. And pompoms. Always pompoms.


This photo above melts my heart.


...And guess who caught the bouquet? That's right. Me. Dudes, you've been warned!

Laurie hates this last picture, even though she looks as lovely as ever. I think what really perturbs her is the thought of me marrying some hapless dude. I just accidentally wrote 'marring.' Foreshadowing!

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