Sunday, November 19, 2017

Pregnant Pause: Kingdom of Feels

Just in case no one has told you, being pregnant is not that fun.

Making peace with a changing body, weeks 6 - 39

Just ask my sister - I doubt she'll ever procreate after listening to me list the myriad unpleasant consequences of expecting. (It's my own fault... There's just something really satisfying about laying the concept of "lightening crotch" on a pregnancy newbie.)

However, I like to save my complaints for loved ones who cannot escape my phone calls. Here, I will detail the aspects of creating a new human that I will miss.

What I Will Miss About Being Pregnant

1. Being congratulated for going to work.

Not at work... At MacArthur Beach State Park at 40 weeks, 3 days

I have felt unreasonably well for most of my gravid adventures, so rolling into work past-due was no big deal. But, even though I felt completely copacetic, my caring coworkers made a completely enjoyable fuss over my continued work activity.

I will miss hearing a hearty, "I can't believe you're here!" upon rolling into work 20 minutes late and wearing the same outfit I wore last week.

2. Being encouraged to have sex.

Pretty sure he's ready for parenthood

Weeks ago, my doc told me, "If you want to get out of this, you need to do what got you into this." Everyone from those awesome coworkers to friends, family and of course, my parents have nudged my husband with a knowing smile and goaded us to get it on.

Not since we got hitched has our love life been so sanctioned.

3. Receiving lavish attention.

Beautiful words from a beautiful friend

It's no secret that I'm a spectacular spotlight hog and I'm telling you, if you want to stop traffic, have involved conversations with complete strangers and be constantly complimented on your cuteness, being preggo is the way to go. At one point last week, I was surrounded by no fewer than six Macy's make-up counter attendants as they squealed the sweetest compliments about my bulbous body.


4. Tooting with impunity.

I found your problem right here. (From the notes from my non stress test.)

That's all I've got to say about that.

5. Sharing magical, intimate moments with my little boy.


I'm currently lounging on a loveseat, typing onto a laptop, and listening to a pillow salesman on the television. And, throughout this entire mundane experience, my unborn boy, half me and half the man I love, has been rolling around, filling my middle with an indescribable miracle.

It's mind-bending and magical and I'm savoring every secret moment he and I share.